Parents Share . . .

Please share some thoughts about your baby and experiences. Send your poetry, articles, stories, pictures, etc. The one stipulation for publication on this page is that you send original material (you've written it or someone you know has written it - we can't publish a favorite poem by a famous writer.) This is YOUR forum to share your babies. Items may be printed with your name, with a pseudonym, or with "baby's" mom (i.e. Sarah's Mom) or a "dad in California" ~ whichever you prefer, but be sure to indicate that in your e-mail. You can post your submissions here just indicate poetry, story or article in the subject line. Thank you. We wish you peace and healing.


This can't be happening to my baby
Not my baby
A screening to find out the gender
A screening that indicated a problem
Not my baby
Unfair choices presented
Keeping my baby
Terminating my baby
Not my baby
Hiding the results from others
Hiding the gender from others
Not real
Not my baby
Disconnected from reality
Disconnected from my baby
She's not my baby
So many dreams shattered
So many tears shed
For my baby
Not my baby
An empty womb
An empty heart
Not my baby
Goodbye baby
Darcy ~ 2014


You never got to
Cry even once
You never drew
A breath
You never even
Opened your eyes
Oh, my little one
Oh, my baby
Oh, my child

Arlene Lieberman 7/29/96


I believe I saw angels in the room the night I conceived,
I thought it meant God was watching over you,
But now I realize they were there to take you,
You are with them now.

prayed at least twice everyday for you to be healthy,
And for 18 weeks I felt that joy,
But it was only false hope of things never to come,
Of my dreams that would never be.

It has been 10 days since the birth and death of my daughter,
My first child, my only child, but also my hope.
It does no good to try to find reasons for why it happened,
There are no answers that could satisfy me; there is nothing rational
or acceptable about her not being here.

I feel like a shell of emptiness, there's nothing left inside,
Except for a breaking heart, and an aching for life.
Am I a failure? I feel like one, like I will never get this right,
I will never be like the blissfully ignorant that have healthy babies.

But I will try again, because I know the joy I felt for four months,
And the brief moments of love and admiration I felt when I
held my daughter for the first and last time.
I will try again because I ache to have life inside of me.
Sarah was alive inside of me, next time I will pray for life outside of me as well.

I could swear I heard angels whispering the night she was born,
They were back again, coming to take her home.

Written October 13, 1997 by Sarah's Mom
Sarah was diagnosed with polycystic kidneys

A Mother's Day Gift . . .

On Mother's Day, my husband gave me a special card that included a note from Carly, my baby girl, who left us on March 27, 1997. She had a rare and severe chromosome abnormality (the upper arm of Chromosome #3 was deleted). I'd like to share this note with other parents who have also had to make a difficult decision about their unborn child.

Dear Mommy,
Thank you so much for carrying me around for 5 months.
You took such good care of me - eating right, exercising, planning for a wonderful birth.
I don't think I could have felt more loved.

Thank you for making what must have been a terrible decision for you.
I would not have wanted a life if I could not be raised by you.

Don't worry about me- I'm in good company here with Grandma Cochran and Great Grandma Ruiz et al.
I can still feel your love and that's what's important.

All my love to you and Dad and Koshi-dog.
Please tell my little brother or sister about me when she or he comes.

Love always,

A Thought, a Wish, a Hope, a Prayer (for Robbie)

Our child came to us as a thought,
a thought that we had love to share
a thought that we would come to care
so very much for this first child.

Our child came to us with a wish,
a wish that he'd grow strong and proud,
a wish that we would be allowed
to grow with him, with this first child.

Our child came to us with a hope,
a hope that he would laugh and play
throughout his childhood, day by day,
while we watched over this first child.

Our child came to us with a prayer,
a prayer that he'd be safe and sound,
a prayer that love would soon abound
throughout our house for this first child.

Our first child left us with a thought,
a thought that life was not secure,
a thought that nothing is ever sure,
and then he was gone, and with him our thoughts.

Our first child left us with a wish,
a wish that time had been more kind,
a wish that we find peace of mind,
and then he was gone, and with him our wishes.

Our first child left us with a hope,
a hope that he was safe above,
a hope that he had known our love,
and then he was gone, and with him our hopes.

Our first child left us with a prayer,
a prayer that we remember him,
a prayer that we can start again,
and then he was gone, and with him our prayers.

Written by Patricia who wrote this a few weeks after she lost her son
(stillborn after induced labor at 27 weeks) to trisomy 18.


Books on Loss and Grief

Our Heartbreaking Choices: Forty-Six Women Share Their Stories of Interrupting a Much-Wanted Pregnancy

The Dive :: A Memoir

A Time to Decide a Time to Heal: For Parents Making Difficult Decisions About Babies They Love

Precious Lives Painful Choices: A Prenatal Decision-Making Guide

Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Revised Edition: Surviving the Death of Your Baby

Empty Arms: Coping With Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death

A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss

Unspeakable Losses: Healing From Miscarriage, Abortion, And Other Pregnancy Loss

Surviving Pregnancy Loss: A Complete Sourcebook for Women and Their Families

Difficult Decisions: For Families Whose Unborn Baby Has a Serious Problem

Books for Fathers, Family, Children and Friends

Couple Communication After a Baby Dies: Differing Perspectives

For Better or Worse: For Couples Whose Child Has Died

How to Say it When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words For Difficult Times

A Guide For Fathers: When A Baby Dies

When Your Friend's Child Dies: A Guide to Being a Thoughtful and Caring Friend

When Pregnancy Fails: Families Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death

What You Can Say When You Don't Know What to Say: Reaching Out to Those Who Hurt

Books about Trying Again and Pregnancy after Loss

Journeys: Stories of Pregnancy After Loss

Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss

Pregnancy After a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death