Lovingly Dedicated to All who have made
"A Heartbreaking Choice"

This website supports women who have made the "Heartbreaking Choice" to terminate a much wanted pregnancy. For those who have undergone a pregnancy termination due to a poor prenatal diagnosis, problems with their own health, or for the health of another fetus (selective reduction). If you have had a pregnancy termination for medical reasons, we are here for you. You'll find articles on how to deal with the grief, stories from women just like you, who have have made this Heartbreaking Choice to end a much wanted pregnancy.

Although it is estimated that between 80 and 95 percent of parents receiving a severe prenatal diagnosis choose to end the pregnancy, those who face this nightmare often feel alone. There is very little in the way of support programs for them. With this site and the dedication of courageous parents willing to reach out, we hope to create a safe haven of encouragement, validation, hope and healing.

If you are Uncertain about your decision, we have several resources that you may find hellpful, from Books & Videos to stories from women who have had to make this "Heartbreaking Choice" and what influenced their Decision Making process.

Official "Heartbreaking Choice" Discussion Groups

This is the official "A Heartbreaking Choice" support group, and is a private, membership only discussion group where those who have undergone a pregnancy termination due to a poor prenatal diagnosis, problems with their own health, or for the health of another fetus can get unconditional support. If you would like a completely secure, private place to discuss your loss with others who have been through this “Heartbreaking choice" please click HERE for access to our Official Discussion Groups.

Listserv Mailing List

The "A Heartbreaking Choice" (AHC) mailing list is a closed and moderated mailing list designed to protect your privacy but provide e-mail with other parents (Dads are included) who have ended a pregnancy either due to birth defects or risk to wellbeing of the mother. It is available to anyone with an email address who has ended a wanted pregnancy.

Subscribe to AHeartbreakingChoice
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Share With Us

If you are a parent who has ended a pregnancy and would like to contribute your story to this site, please send your personal story, poetry, journal entry, suggestions, etc. to us. If you prefer to email us directly please do so at:
info at aheartbreakingchoice.com (to help curtail spam, please remove the spaces and insert the @ character in the above email address.)

Please remember that in order for us to respond to any questions or to send you a link when your memorial or story has been posted, you must use a valid return email address. All correspondence is held in the strictest confidence, and we will never post your name or personal information without your permission.

Memorial Rose Garden

A special place to post a memorial in honor of your cherished baby.

We'd like to extend a special thank you to Maribeth Wilder-Doerr, who made this website and its extended network of support possible. This creation began in her heart ... and all the parents who have benefited from her care will be forever grateful.

Para traducir esta página al español por favor haga clic Aquí y escriba la dirección URL www.aheartbreakingchoice.com en el cuadro a la izquierda y el sitio web se traducirán al español. Gracias.

In Memory of Dr. George Tiller
August 8, 1941 - May 31, 2009

This web site was designed to offer information and support for parents who have terminated a much wanted pregnancy due to a poor prenatal diagnosis, problems with their own health, or for the health of another fetus (selective reduction.) It is maintained by volunteers and is solely for informational purposes. The authors of this site are not trained medical professionals. The information contained herein is not intended to be, and should not be used as, a substitute for medical treatment by a health care professional. It is solely intended as an informational and support site. Please seek advise from your professional medical caregiver. The authors of this site can not be held legally responsible for any information contained herein. aheartbreakingchoice.com presents these stories, articles and links as is, without any guarantee express or implied, and is not liable for any loss or damage caused by a user’s dependence on information obtained from this website.


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Mothers tell their stories...


I told her how sorry I was and that I loved her and did not want her to suffer. I would rather suffer every day for the rest of my life than to allow her to suffer one moment in life.

~Mom of an Angel

Everything was going great. As already having two "normal" pregnancies under my belt, I felt confident. I knew there was always that chance of hearing bad news but I said "no, not me, not our baby."

We felt that if our daughter had been in a car accident and was on life support with the same internal injuries, we would not keep her on life support and let her suffer. This child deserved the same dignity."

~ A grieving mom

I initially thought I would "be brave" and continue my pregnancy. But I came to realize that ultimately it wasn't about how strong I could be, how deeply I wanted this baby or what important lessons he could teach me. It was about what he would experience in his short life. Given his diagnosis, he would have known only suffering. As his mother, I couldn't allow that to happen.

~ A mother at peace

It was our ignorance for believing that all pregnancies led to a healthy baby. It was my arrogance for believing that since I had the best medical care, took prenatal vitamins even before and during my pregnancy, never took drugs, never smoked cigarettes and drank about half a glass of wine a year, that our baby would be safe.

~A bereaved mother

A mother will stop at nothing, including her own hurt, both mentally and physically, to protect her child.

~Brokenhearted Mother